A Life Less Ordinary

Well it’s almost time to go. A mere 28 some odd hours, not like I’m counting. This post will possibly serve as my last post before I leave in case I forget to write anything tomorrow. So as a quick schedule of events for the next months, here’s where I’ll be:

August 6-10: Bangkok, Thailand

August 10-16: Krabi, Thailand

August 16-21: Hong Kong, SAR

August 21-24: Xi’an, China

August 24-29: Beijing, China

August 29-September 3: Shanghai, China

Sept 3 Onwards: Hong Kong, SAR

This message is titled Craftsman because in my infinitely small knowledge of real tools I believe that craftsman is one brand. I feel sort of like a giant tool because most of you reading this soon will have been tipped off to my blogs existence through a variety of fairly meaningless online social tools, including Facebook and others. Twitter should die though. I mean a little blue annoying cartoon bird as your logo? Seriously? In case someone doesn’t know, the picture on top of this webpage is of Hong Kong, though it’s not entirely real. It was a picture that was photoshopped. I still like it however, so I’m pretending it’s real and that giant clouds of Chinese factory anthrax isn’t slowly sweeping down the country side to kill me.

This is going to be a crazy journey. Especially the first month, where, like so many hobo’s from movies I won’t be sleeping in the same place for more than a few days at a time. Living out of a suitcase sounds less than fun. Living out of a suitcase in China sounds like a bad nightmare. Living out of a suitcase with the possibility of getting some weird third world venereal disease is exciting. That one was for my mom. Love you. As this blog goes on, it will become more dedicated to my travels and activities while abroad and less about my commentary on, well, anything. All previous entries can be considered test material. Like Conan’s entire life. I know a redhead in China right now. Her name is Vicki and she is volunteering at a Beijing hospital where she was supposed to know Chinese. She doesn’t. I’m also supposed to mention my friend Alli Bell. Alli Bell. I’m going to an island while in Krabi called Ko Phi Phi. Guess what? It’s pronounced Ko PP. Like Go Pee Pee. I’m that mature.

My last real American activity this week will be getting Chipotle, but prior to that it will have been watching the Minnesota Twins in their pathetic attempts against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. I wanted to spell their entire name just to get a real feel for how ridiculous it is. How about the New York Giants of East Rutherford, New Jersey. At least its bi-statial. New word. Before the game I met a Shih Tzu my uncle got. I’m going to spell it as Shit Zoo. It’s funnier. It’s a girl named Ernie, well actually I think it’s name is Ernice, but it’s a girl, hence Ernie. I love logic. It’s very small and soft and looks like it maybe came out of it’s mom and ran into a door head first. Adorable. I just hope I don’t see Ernice’s third cousin on my plate in Xi’an. No sauce makes that good. I wonder…chewy or tender? I’ll never be able to tell you.

I’m hoping to spend an entire day at the Peak in Hong Kong. It’s this mountain that gives you the views like in my picture. I want to get a sunrise and sunset and nighttime. It’d be sweet. Red dragons glinting in the sunlight as they race down the glass facades mirroring the sunset. That was my attempt at flowery writing. Or my attempt to be like Mel. 15 hours will be a long time on a plane. Hello Tylenol PM! And Sleepy Time! And maybe Melatonin. A friend once asked if she could have some of my melanoma. Wasn’t aware I had cancer. I probably will once I get back so same diff. Once again for my mom…and dad that time. Love you all!